Book Of Likes Faces

Yesterday a minor misunderstanding with my boyfriend led to a mental meltdown and I couldn’t stop crying for like an hour.
I feel like it was exacerbated by the fact that my BF gets defensive when I get like this and uses it as a time to vent all his pent up frustrations with me, thinking it’s an argument when I wasn’t even mad at him and I was just unable to regulate my emotions and communicate productively. But that makes me even sadder when all I need is someone to show me love. I have a depression diagnosis and when I melt down and cry for help he seems to respond with coldness at best, defensiveness and anger at worst because he starts telling me what I do wrong since I’m usually crying in response to an interaction with him. I don’t know how to communicate anymore with him, he used to not be this way. We've been together almost 12 years.