Book Of Likes Faces

So you think no one eats their pets? Well let me tell you a story of my pet rabbit. I won a rabbit at the fair and my boyfriend had a rabbit cage so I left it over there and would feed it after school. Few weeks later he tells me my rabbit “done died” (an Aerosmith reference). A few months later his mom offers me some stew/soup, I was skinny and a very very picky eater, always claimed I was on a diet because I didn’t like a lot of foods (I’ve gotten over that). Anyway I accepted a bowl of soup. I was chowing down as she watched me and she asked if I liked it, I nodded and said yes it was very good then she told me it was rabbit stew. I’m sure the look on my face was enjoyable for her as I had expressed many times I wasn’t interested in eating rabbit, squirrel etc..but I’d eat a hot dog like a champ. It wasn’t until much later did I reflect and realize those M-Fers killed and froze my pet rabbit for dinner at a later date. So yes, pets can and will be eaten. This is a true story.

To the person that drives the black and yellow rumble bee truck that pulled out in front of me onto Northwest Avenue by Starbucks earlier this evening, yes I did blare my horn at YOU!!! However, you did wrong and you had absolutely no reason to try to chase me down like a moron...I almost went off the road to avoid hitting you!! I mean I don't know if you got scared or what but as soon as I pulled up to my dad's house, you sure took off like a dog with his tail tucked! What you did was dangerous and uncalled for. You could have seriously injured or even killed someone, your road rage is SHAMEFUL!!!!

Here's my idea that I've been thinking about for a while: A females only planned community. Women of any age can move in. You buy your plot of land and you build whatever kind of house you want - you want a tiny house? A sprawling Gothic Victorian painted completely black? A mid-century modern decorated to look like a Barbie dream house? All ok. You are only limited by your imagination and your budget. There are no HOA rules other than keeping your yard looking nice, but if you want stone, grass, wildflowers; it's up to you. It's a gated, secure neighborhood so if you want to go for a walk at 2 a.m. in your bathrobe, you absolutely can. There is a community fee and community buildings (like a roller rink) for awesome planned activities. Every first Saturday and third Saturday is dance club nights. The second and fourth Saturday mornings are Cap'n Crunch eaten in a giant blanket fort while watching cartoons. Flashlight tag every Friday. If you get sick, the casserole brigade will bring you food and tissues. If you need an emergency contact, we have a phone tree. If you want a break from socializing, put the "alone time" sign up in your window. We will also celebrate all of the holidays. Halloween will be an epic bash ending with a screening of Practical Magic and midnight margaritas. Thanksgiving will have plenty of folks who can't or won't celebrate with family. Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali - you name it, we will celebrate it. Expected attire for the neighborhood is, again, whatever you want. You never want to wear a bra again? Fine. You want to wear a push up bra and stilettos? Fine. You want to walk your dogs wearing a ballgown and a tiara? Awesome!