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So dealing with grief is weird. I'll be fine, and then the next minute I'm overwhelmed and not fine and then a couple hours later I'm okay again. Idk. I want to feel my feelings still in a healthy way. I am usually distracted because I've been busy. I hear that writing a letter to your loved one helps, I may try that soon. I have been trying hard to remain diligent and positive, but sometimes it's just hard to do.
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The thing that helped me the most when I lost my dad was keeping myself busy in various ways. Work, hobbies, self care, etc. Do things that keep your mind active and busy. Also, remember to be gentle with yourself and to make sure you're staying fed and hydrated. Ask for help if you need it, even for basic things like cleaning. Avoid self isolating. My friend also highly recommends a book called "It's Okay That You're Not Okay" by Megan Devine. Just need to take it day by day.
I haven't lost a parent, but my sister's death was very hard. And yes, it comes in waves, sometimes it's smooth, and then even now, over a decade later, I get hit by things so suddenly. This is grief. It never goes away, but you learn to live with it, like a chronic injury. Let yourself live, because that's what your mom would want you to do, but also let yourself have your feelings. Don't feel shame for them, don't apologize for it when you get misty eyes, and people understand it. They just do.