Book Of Likes

Sometimes I hate this small town.. I can't get a local lawyer because of conflict of interest. Getting one from farther away it will cost me $500 for them to drive for one day, my house payment is only $325 Everyone else in this mess gets a court appointment lawyer but not me because I do right by the children , I love them, I feed them when they are hungry, I make sure they have water and electricity, I make sure they are clean, I make sure they go to the doctor when they need to I'm far from perfect but I put the children first and make sacrifices so they can have everything they need and most of what they want. Maybe I went about it the wrong way maybe I should have cussed and yelled at children, not be able to to keep water and electricity on, cook from a microwave, have bed bugs, let them be dirty and have diapers hanging to their knees, let the children get mistreated and fail for pot on a hair test. Then you got caseworkers saying one thing and assistant county attorney saying something else. I have always had a big heart and would bend over backwards to help anyone. I could have sold my stock pile and made some money but instead I wanted to help others and donated over 2000 items to people that needed it, I could have sold the new toys but instead I decided to donate them ( 2 car loads) to the children that wouldn't have otherwise not had a Christmas. Trying to do the right thing and keep these sisters together like they need to be has made me see how screwed up our system is it is turning me into a cold hearted bitch. If noone else cares enough for these children and will fight to keep them together (but me) why should I care about others. I'm not asking for a new car, house, to pay my bills take me on a cruise all I'm asking for is for someone to step up and help me fight to keep these children together and it looks like I'm asking for too much. I don't put personal stuff on here but I'm to the point I don't care anymore and some need to see how screwed up our system is..as of right now court is a week from today and I have 7 days left to spend with the baby before someone makes the right or wrong choice for her, I am feeling heartbroken!